Using positive speech is essential to directing your mind. This means that you must be more conscious of the words you say to yourself i.e. (your internal self talk) and your communication with others.
“The World is Emblematic. Parts of speech are metaphors because the whole of nature is a metaphor of the Human mind.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
You must aim at directing your words with one hundred percent accuracy in matching your words to your intention, this means your words must be ONE HUNDRED PERCENT congruent with your knowledge, beliefs, actions and goals – So this article is a guide to the positive and conscious use of language if you wish to relate to other people and your self more effectively in all areas of life personal and business read on.
Selecting your words like an artist, who is painting a master piece. In your personal life you will benefit greatly by adopting a greater mastery of your speech.
1. Throw Away Negative Social Responses.
Here’s an example of a conversation between two people upon meeting on monday morning.
Person A. Hello, good morning, how are you… did you have a nice weekend
Person B. I’m not too bad, we had horrible weather over the weekend, it was very wet, and so I didn’t do much, besides the weekend is too short to do anything. So how are you?… Did you have a good weekend?…
Person A. Am very good thanks you… I had good weekend spent some quality time at home. Caught up with some bits and bobs around the house on Saturday, Sunday I took it easy, finished a book I’ve been meaning to complete, I cooked Sunday dinner for the little lady. Well to tell the truth, I actually burnt Sunday dinner, but she gave me ten out off ten for the effort, we ended up ordering a Caribbean take away, which was really nice.
It’s clear to see person’s A mental focus is positively directed, he may have not had the most eventful weekend, but his focus was directed to moments he found pleasurable or memorable. Person A responses and language opens the doors to new topics of conversation. Which is a key element of social intelligence.
Person B use of language is a typical example of the misuse of Language, Language that is un empowering and leaves limited room for positive social manoeuvre.
“We can do without the “Not too bads” that’s because it states your feelings in the negative context.
Stating your feelings in the negative context does not do you any favours, because you are giving your subconscious mind a direct statement “I’m not too bad”.
All words carry definitive meanings and emotional qualities, so avoid stating your feeling and self image in the negative context.
When a person asks, how are you and you reply “not too bad”, you are communicating/sending a less then ideal self description off yourself over to the other person.
Fair enough an individual may be going through some difficulties that or unresolved. Things may not be going to plan in some area in life, but if one focus’s too long upon the grey areas of life you begin to only see only grey and it will leave you feeling grey or “not too bad”.
The reason why some people say “not too bad” is because that may be the way they are feeling. They are focusing on thoughts that don’t make them feel too great, it does not mean that you should not think about your problems it means that you should focus on the solutions to your problems, which you will find resolutions given enough time and consideration.
State your feelings from the positive aspects of your life, learn to count your blessings and successes.
When you operate from the positive, you project a Confidence self image and empowered mind You affirm the feeling you want to feelyou radiate a more agreeable projection of your self ( which will come right back at you
The above responses are far more empowering than the “not to bads”. The above example feels better to say, it makes you feel good, it helping to polarise the mind positively.
Here’s another example of a conversation between two people upon meeting At work first thing Monday morning…
Person A. Hello good morning how are you,
Person B Its another Monday I can’t wait for the weekend
person A Ok So how was your weekend It was raining.
Really because it’s rained, you had to put your whole life on hold, come on get a life Find something to do with yourself in your free time… Get a hobby
There are countless things to do that don’t involve being outdoors on the weekend… come on when you go back to work on Monday you can say you lived being active makes you a more interesting to be around, you will have so much more to share with others people.
Be grateful that you have a job, you are getting paid, it gives you options.
If you have not got a job don’t sit around watching TV find an interest that will add value to your skill set. A hobby or an interest can quickly turn into a future form of income, Remember most skills are Transferable.
A Thesaurus will open up your vocabulary, giving you more options of words to express yourself in conversation, which will make you stand out from the crowd in your social and business life.
You are what you eat physically and mentally, fill your mind with quality in put and you surely will get quality out puts. Keep a diary of your successes no matter how small. Write down your plans and review them, your plans be it business or personal such as family holidays meeting with friends, it is nice to have something positive to look forward to. Once you polarise your mind in the positive spectrum you will naturally speak in a more positive manner.
We tend to mirror one another especially if we share a good rapport. So we must be aware not to mirror the negative patterns of our acquaintances. Affirm the positive things they say. You must not get pulled into negative unproductive egotistic neurotic babel; it’s a waste off time and mental energy.
State the positive when you see it. There is always more than one way to view a subject, life is multi dimensional so naturally there are more than one sides to any subject and multiple levels to which an issue can be dealt with, this is a skill. Great leaders process the ability to see beyond the obvious problem/limitation to find the positive solutions in speech and in action.
The positive statements you take in will grow to be apart of your vocabulary shaping the way you speak.
Positive Speech improvement number seven , If you have not got any thing good to say don’t say anything at all. When you sit back and listen to what some people have to say their comments are many a time centred around gossip and hear say, about people not present or about people they have never ever meet. I’ve noticed that people who are quick to form opinions and gossip about other people based on hearsay, will gossip about you based on the same criteria.
To involve yourself in senseless chit chat robs you of your creditability, integrity and is a betrayal to your intelligence. Gossiping is not intelligent it dilutes your congruency and belittles your character. Question? If the person that is being spoken about, was to enter the room would the conversation continue at the same tone, I bet the answer is no.
The majority people speak about other people, places and dramas – while the minority speak about theories, concepts, plans, principles, philosophies, Art, culture, society and law etc. Its best to be in the minority because those conversations leads to growth, wisdom and a degree of enlightenment, while others are fruitless and potentially harmful.
If you are going to gossip, make it…
Many times untruths and half truths are allowed to pass as truth. Sometime we are led by the crowd and popular opinion, this happens in all areas of life from the college campus to the corporate board room, when in large groups or with a friend.
Sometimes we have a tendency to follow the crowed. It takes courage and strength of character to stand up for truth especially when you risk being unpopular as a result, believe me, as long as you pick the right time and place to speak, with well crafted words, you will have earned the respect of those who were thinking the same but did not have the courage to speak. Remember its all about the time, place, content and tone.
People moan about this and moan about that, when its raining the weathers horrible, when its cloudy the weathers miserable, when the sun comes out in its glory its terrible, its too hot, the weathers dreadful, they say I cant wait for the winter, when winter arrives its too cold, they say wouldn’t it be nice to go on holiday to Spain or the Caribbean – Please give me a break, the world has gone mad, there’s no pleasing some people..
Don’t complain about the weather, the natural forces are not under your control – don’t let the weather dictate your mood.
If you are really concerned about the weather and you want to make yourself happier plant a tree or Join an environmental group or something, plan a holiday in the north pole or if that’s to cold try somewhere a little warmer like a desert, I recommend the Sahara its nice and sunny with good quality sand and you can moan all day to the camels if you can catch one.
Don’t spend your time and others peoples by, complaining about problems. Be practical and give solutions not problems. This attitude may put you in line for a pay rise or even a promotion.
One needs to calm the mind in order to discipline and direct the tongue. A person who has little control over their mind has little control over their speech. Without conscious control of the tongue, the mind operates in a reactionary state responding to stimuli without consideration, kicking out the first thought that come to mind.
We’ve all been in the position where in conversation thing got heated, things were said that set off your alarm bells and you reacted with rage you boiled and bubbled. Your words turned into weapon of mass destruction and you spat fire at your target. When you had the opportunity to calm down you then realized what you said, may have had to be said, but it could have been said with greater care and tact.
The effective use of Meditation has been used by millions around the world in order to still the mind and exercise greater control over the individual’s actions, speech included. At the highest levels of leadership you will notice that personal control is one of the key qualities that is required. People in places of high positions often possess an air of confidence calm, relaxation, they own their space and target their language, it can be developed.
If you find this information helpful take part in the spirit of giving and share with a friend… each one teach one!